Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Joyful state of being

I've never seen the stars twinkle and shoot so much as I have this night. Every second, at least three stars would wink at me, and I counted 8 shooting stars, falling across the sky like little sparkling skylarks that are so fast you have to limit your blinks in order to snatch them into your photographic memory. I like to lay low on my wide porch step and look up at Abraham's innumerable blessings. At times like these, I could never miss the city, with all of its man-made aesthetically pleasing displays of affection. The stars bring company in even the heaviest states of loneliness. And since the stars are not man made, but unfathomably made by the same love that hand-crafted our hearts, there's not even a drop of doubt that something so big bright and beautiful waits for us when we die.

Sometimes, I wish I could capture these things in a photograph, but it's impossible to do the visual justice. It just is. No photograph can truly capture the immensity of belief in that moment. I'm not even sure words can capture it, either. But words come close when drawn directly from the core. The only thing stopping the flow is the human default to edit almost every word that leaves our mouths, which brings the point back around again...nothing that humans do can even faintly compare to what God has done for the human race that he loves.

I used to get annoyed by really happy people. Or when people would say, "I've found true joy!" I'd say, 'Is it even possible to have true joy as a human being?' I'm not sure if I'm a realist or a pessimist, or if I'm depressed or angry or jealous of those who seem to be more joyful than I. I thought that true joy was only of God and not of this earth. But there are glimpses, in love, maybe, between people. I see it because I have Christ in me. But I still say, 'Wait, absolute, true joy?' Then another question arose, 'If we sought and found true joy on earth why would we want to leave it?' and 'What if earthly joy is media-fied, or politically driven, arisen from a desire for superiority ('I'm a happy Christian, and you're not.') over others who don't always see it?

But, here's something in hope. There is true joy in Christ - no, something even greater and more pure - the purest love, unfathomable. And in this, there could be joy - of God - here on earth, shown in his creation and in the hearts of those who love Him; surpassing realism or pessimism and going beyond absolutely everything we know, or think we know. This was the Baby Jesus. The cross. And this is what we sing about, and what we marvel about when we look up.

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